Popov Strongstout

Popov Strongstout (Quest-giver's Perspective)

Many a dwarf can hold claim to being born under mountain or hill, however the one I seek today was more like to be born under a bottle spirits. Popov Strongstout, dwarven wizard, drunkard, and ne’er-do-well has been chased out of more towns and taverns than most adventurers will see in a lifetime. Pawning off conjured goods or burning down the tavern due to some drunken magical mishap was the usual cause. While most sane people would never consider hiring a drunken charlatan of a dwarven wizard, granted a charlatan of spell casting he was not, a crazy quest requires a crazy dwarf.

I noticed a plethora of different beings as I walked into the Shattered Mug tavern, but only one of them happened to be a dwarf. The one I was seeking was to have been instantly recognizable, as a dwarf with a shortened beard and patches of stubble (did I mention the magical mishaps?) is a rare sight, yet the dwarf I saw had spectacles and an abundance of facial hair and thick bushy eyebrows all of an odd shade of…well green. The odd looking dwarf waved me down with a sloshing mug of ale, and as I drew closer I noticed that the wriggling eyebrows weren’t eyebrows at all, they were caterpillars tied with string to his spectacles! The beard was not a beard at all either, but a dense patch of moss. “You like it, eh?” said the dwarf, tugging down the moss momentarily to reveal a mix of singed stubble and beard, “Had to do it after the bet last night,” he continued. Sighing reluctantly I nodded for the dwarf to continue his explanation. “Well you see that halfling over there with half his top-knot, we were drinking together and having a good ole time, until he bet me I couldn’t light the candle on the table with a spell.” “Naturally, I took the bet and won hands down,” it was then that the dwarf coughed lightly and looked a bit guilty. “And?” I questioned, “may have also lit the halfling’s top-knot and… well,” the dwarf gestured at a portion of the tavern, clearly scorched and charred black quite recently. “And no one has chased you off, even with the sod and critters adorning your face?” I exclaimed incredulously. Just then the dwarf turned in the direction of the half top-knot Halfling and raised his mug with a cheery expression to have it returned in kind. “A dwarf with a green beard is a lot more common than a dwarf with hardly any beard, much like a Halfling without a top-knot… speaking of,” the dwarf chuckled and as the halfling turned his back the dwarf muttered a cantrip and snapped his fingers as the remainder of the halfling’s top-knot burst into flames. The tavern owner covered his face with a hand and could be heard muttering, “Not again.”